This is a different post than my normal story telling however it is one that I hope you find of value in your own life and can apply this notion to living your full lives today.
Most of us humans are hardwired a certain way to find purpose and meaning in life. The attitude of gratitude and meaningfulness quotes are abundant, being kind is almost too trendy at times. However, do these things really make an impact on you? For most of us it’s a matter of opinion.
I have been working on a certification in the field of positive psychology, through a series of courses run by the founder and father of the subject, Dr. Martin Seligman from the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Seligman looks at improving lives “through happiness, character strength and optimism instead of how psychology has viewed the field of mental health for the last 60 years, making people feel less miserable”. So for the last decade they have been studying “a science behind positive psychology, what makes life worth living.” For those you who may be thinking, hmmm, what??? take a look at his TED talk. I think in this day and age, the world could grow to listen and learn this way of positive thinking, as it serves as an armor to all of the negativity that does exist.
In Dr. Seligman’s research he theorizes, can psychology actually make people happier, a word he doesn’t like to use much in his research. He believes that Authentic Happiness is meant “as a preface to the meaningful life.” The meaningful life is described as “using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are.” When you do things in life that line up to this notion, you get in the flow. This state is true happiness, you are almost without feelings. Think of the practice of meditation, it’s sort of like it, though you aren’t meditating.
For myself, I am in the flow when I am writing, speaking on adoption, being a mom (not all the time, hahaha), helping others…those are some off the top of my head. How about yours? And when you recognize them, what are you doing in your life that aligns you with them?
Ironically, as I have been working on this certification, I had a meeting several weeks ago with a social worker on a professional level. Over the course of the two hour interaction we both grew to learn that we were connected through the adoption world. She worked at the agency we had used to adopt both our children and she has been a foster mom for the past six years. As I was leaving the meeting, she mentioned she traveled to Wisconsin this summer to learn about a non-profit organization, Camp To Belong, they help connect siblings who are separated through the foster care system. They were forming the camp in Pennsylvania and New Jersey for the summer of 2019.
I walked away from this interaction a little in awe and wanted to understand more about the camp, so I connected with the national director, and with the founders in our region. No more than a week later, I had found myself in several long conversations regarding the program. The local founders, are two incredible women who are volunteering their time to begin this intensive program. One of them, a nurse is from Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, who has fostered 15 children in the past four years…talk about a humbling and inspiring.
Yet, the stigma around the foster care system really does exist. Sometimes the harsh reality of the broken system is too much for many families to consider. Except, the social worker said something that rang so true the day we first met. Despite how broken this system is, it is not the fault of these kids and there needs to be more done that can be done. It was at that point that I found meaning in this for me. As a mother of two adopted children, I know first hand how much these kiddos have given to us. They were meant to be with us. However, for the 8,000 kids in New Jersey alone that are in the foster care system, there has to be better answers than “the system is just broken”.
75% of these children have a sibling they are not living with, and this is where the camp exists to fill in the void.
Camp to Belong River Valley will begin this fall doing small events that are sibling connections. Next summer they will host their first week long overnight camp. Without this camp, siblings would only get their state mandated 1 hour a month sibling visit, most likely on the playground at a McDonalds. These kids have been through so much and this camp teaches them how to connect with their siblings again, celebrate birthdays together, and enjoy special moments that they would normally miss throughout the year. These children need to find their way despite their hard circumstances, and Camp To Belong teaches them about resilience, about loving themselves and others, and about trusting one thing in their life that will remain stable over the years…and that is this camp.
If you have an interest in learning more about this program or ways to give please consider reading more, https://www.ctbrivervalley.org/
I do believe that the universe, God, the big guy in the sky, whatever you want to call it, has a life filled with purpose for each of us. I would ask each of you if you have stopped lately to list what your strengths and virtues are that make you feel whole and in “the flow”? And are you finding meaning in your life?
If you are open to this concept, life will speak to you and ultimately your cup will overflow.
Thanks for following along….I began this blog over eight years ago with the phrase…“With purpose and love from the beginning”, so thanks.
XOXO L